Today I am grateful for the understanding and support of my workplace. They sent me flowers and notes and I appreciate all the gestures they made. It was only 3 months since I returned from my 12 month maternity leave when I was diagnosed with cancer. I left pretty quickly and felt bad about it. It was as if I had suddenly disappeared. I am grateful for their understanding and support despite… Read More
Dear Me, Things have changed in the past couple of years. You became the mother of a beautiful boy whom you love unconditionally. You never thought you could love a human being this much. You raised this little being in the middle of a pandemic which made it very difficult for you and possibly created delays in your child’s development because you didn’t have the support and help that you could have… Read More
Two weeks ago, I had my surgery. Things went well. They were able to remove the main tumour as well as 4 wedges of my right lung. Part of me is relieved, part of me is worried that they may have missed something. Many people are telling me to focus on the now and stop worrying on the things that hasn’t happened yet and that you can’t control. It is true, I… Read More
Walking is my time for reflection. Since I learned about my cancer, I think a lot. But ever since I finished my chemo treatments, it seems like I’ve been thinking a lot more.
I guess we can describe all my thoughts as soul-searching.
La marche est mon temps de réflexion. Quand j’ai appris pour mon cancer, je réfléchissais beaucoup. Mais depuis que j’ai terminé mes traitements de chimiothérapie, il me semble que je réfléchis beaucoup plus.
Je suppose que nous pouvons décrire toutes mes pensées comme une introspection.
I am sorry if I was M.I.A. for a while… as most of you know, I have been dealing with cancer since April 2021. My life hasn’t been the way I imagined especially with a young child and the pandemic. My hopes was very low up until June when I learned it shrank almost by 50%. Being diagnosed at a stage 4 and see this huge improvement and knowing that the treatments… Read More
It’s almost time again to undergo another chemotherapy treatment. I don’t know why, but this time I feel more anxious. I don’t want to go. I know how it will make me feel and I am tired of this. I want my life to go back to normal. I can’t complain too much because until now I have been able to recover quite quickly and have been able to enjoy some time… Read More
My positive CT Scan results gave me so much hope! Before I didn’t know if it was possible to survive this cancer. It is so rare and not knowing if the treatments are working was nerve-racking and to be honest, I didn’t know if I could do it. Yes, I am scared that it could start growing again or grow somewhere else in my body. Every little pains is a reminder. I… Read More
Last Thursday was my CT scan. Who knew it would be so stressful. On the way to my appointment, I felt emotional. I really want this test to bring some positive news in my life. I was listening to music and tears wanted to come out. The strangest thing was that I wasn’t thinking of anything specific. I was looking forward for this test, but I was also scared of it. This… Read More
This Monday was my third chemo, which marked the half way point of my treatment. Three down, three to go! I find this week was a bit harsher on me than the last cycle of chemo. The nauseas were more intense. All week, I didn’t feel so well. One day, I actually slept 14 hours just to go pass the nausea stage. During the first week post chemo always makes me feel… Read More
A big part of my life, I didn’t know my purpose in life. Now that I made peace with myself and decided to stop comparing myself to others and be happy with what I have, now that death is threatening me, I pray for my life. I ask myself so many questions and the main one is “why are you giving me something so beautiful and precious and you’re threatening of taking… Read More
This weekend was a little harder than usual. Has we went for a little walk, I was looking at people running, biking and kayaking and I was telling myself that I want to be able to do an activity like that again one day. Of course, with all the uncertainty in my life, I started crying. Every little things made me tear up. There is so much I would like to do… Read More
The past weekend was great! For us in Canada, it was a long weekend. Yes, I was still feeling the chemo effects, but I was feeling good enough to go on a small walks here and there. When you have a child, you can’t just stay at home all the time. Our son would just be a mess. So we went for short walks at places we never been or that me… Read More
So my hair has started to fall. I feel naked. I feel like a little chick with no feathers. I look at myself in the mirror and and I hate what I see. This will take a while to get used to. Many people mentioned that I look good bald, but it’s hard for me to believe it. It’s like a lost part of me. Thank goodness that hats and wigs exist…. Read More
With COVID, you try to limit your exposure as much as possible. Who would have thought a side rib pain would turn someone’s life upside down. Well…it did for me.
A Difficult Decision Sending my son to daycare was a hard decision. We didn’t have another alternative and it wasn’t by choice. I had already extended my maternity leave and it came the time that I needed to go back to work. It is harder for me than it is for my husband. If I was given the choice and that we could have afforded it, I would have stayed home with… Read More