I Cannot Make It (Reblog)

Assisted suicide is still something to debate on but thinking deeply in the subject, who deserves to live in pain? Knowing 100% that your life is soon going to end or that you will be a burden to someone else when your health is about to degrade to a point of not being able to take care of yourself and/or for you to be in silent pain not able to do anything about it isn’t fair for no one.

This poem is beautiful and tells what it is. Leaving with dignity and happy and have others remember you that way instead of in pain and unwell. I think I would choose that too, but only if there were absolutely no chances of recovery.

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

Go Dog Go Café

I came across the story of a young girl, who chose assisted suicide, due to her health problems. It is legal in her country. The story was moving, and inspired a poem.

I love you all

And I love this world

I love Life

I love the idea of being in love

But I know

I cannot make it.

Living in this body

wears and tears me out

pain bursting from inside

patience is burning out.

It promises Rebirth

Death sure has a clout.

To find God

Or a mother again

It promises a new start,

This is not a goodbye

I may see you again

with a prettier face and heart.

I am happiness

I am a spirit of joy

Let me experience

the lightness of being.

The spell of the unbound

till I choose to break it.

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Each Day is a New Start

Here we are at the end of January and as usual, time is going too fast. Do you remember the post I made at the start of the year?

Well, today I am a bit ashamed of myself. I am definitely struggling. I have no self-control whatsoever regarding treats. If it’s available to me, I will try it. There’s no such thing of taking only one. Once I tasted it, I fall under the wagon.

Why is it so hard? Why do people bring tasty things at work? My problem is that I shouldn’t start.

Am I the only one who cannot stay away?

As for the gym, I didn’t go as much as I wanted. I only went once a week so far. Ever since the new year, there have been things happening to go in the way of it. Now it should settle and I should be able to go at least twice a week and after this week, three times if my body let me. Last week’s class was hard, I was in pain for 5 days straight. I think I push myself a tiny bit too hard. It shouldn’t be stopping me from going. So I have to go easier on myself from now on if I want to be able to go multiple times.

For my Health goals, let just say, it’s a big flop on my part.

As for my self-improvement goals, it could have been better, but I did write in a journal at least 2-3 times a week. 

I’ve also drawn a few things, but not as much as I wanted.

Last week, I started a different type of project. After finishing 1 full yarn pack and realized that I went too wide and was not consistent. So, yesterday, I decided to start over and hopefully will be better this time. It better be as I spent $75 on yarn. That will be an expensive scarf. I better finish it. LOL [pics]

I found myself loving crochet. It’s relaxing and it’s making something out of my hands. It changes your mind off things. The good thing is that you can do it in front of the TV, or in bed before falling asleep. You can do it anywhere really.

Some of the reasons for not achieving my goals were legit, but others were more excuses and I am not proud of myself. The good thing is that tomorrow is a new day and it is always a good time to start over.

Hopefully, I can keep it up this time. I know I can do it, I just need to resist the temptations.

What do you do to keep yourself on track of your goals?

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

This is so true, be kind to others. You don’t know what they are going through.

Pointless Overthinking

Either Help Them Or Fight YourOwn

I’m not going to stress over using a lot of subtitles here. I’ll right get to the point.

We’ve
grown a long nose. It’s a bizarre truth. But it is. And the second ugly
truth is that the nose has got real pokey. I mean REALLY pokey. It’s
disturbing people a lot.

People
are trying to focus. But they can’t! Since they fear that a nose might
poke into their lives and smell something “fishy.” 🙄

Every step a person takes, he/she has to check whether a nose is approaching him/her or no.

“What are you doing? Are you supposed to do stuff like this? What about your career? How will you manage your expenses?”

What’s
your deal? I am going to fight my battle the way I want to. I’ll use a
spear. Because I assume it’s right to do so. You think…

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You have one life

I came across this quote and made me think about our current situation at home.

Yes we need a job, but is it what matters? I think the quote wants to say, do what you love with passion.

I see my husband struggling with happiness due to his job. He really isn’t happy and now his stress level is up the roof which carries everything at home as well. How can you be passionate about what you do when you can’t be happy where you are?

https://wp.me/pa4GE4-GH

Panic Attack…

Yesterday I experienced my first ever panic attack. I never knew how it felt, but I can now tell it’s not something I like to live.

I don’t like going to the dentist and I used to be scared of going when I was younger, but as long as I can remember I didn’t mind so much to create a panic attack.

I was getting a filling done at the dentist and you know how they put so much crap in your mouth to keep it open?

It just happened out of a sudden, no warning signs. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was breathing, I knew that, but it felt like I was suffocating. It’s like my face became numb and tingly and my heart beating faster and couldn’t swallow…

I had to sit straight and make them remove some of the things in my mouth. I had to take deep breaths and calm myself down.

Not sure what triggered it. Possibly ate too much before my appointment or maybe because I had some vaccines the day before and maybe my body wasn’t at 100%… maybe I’m developing some sort of claustrophobia?

I guess I will have to be more aware from now on of what can trigger this… as long as it’s not something more serious…

Have you ever had a sudden panic attack? What have you done to cope with it? I’d like to know.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

2019… What Will You Bring?

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you enjoyed the holidays! I sure did! It was busy but received some unexpected guests. My father and his girlfriend came all the way from Quebec to see me which I appreciate very much and we rang the new year at Medieval Times with my mom and her husband which was great! Now time to reset our goals.

A new year means a fresh start for me. It’s time to reflect on what I would like to accomplish this year. I am not going to set a definite goal per se. This year, I want to take better care of myself. That would be the main goal.

I want to focus on being healthy. Weight is just a number, what’s important is how you feel in your body.

This year, I want to focus on the following but limited:

Health

  • Make better food choices
  • Consume less sugar
  • Drink less alcohol
  • Reduce caffeine intake
  • Go to the gym 3 times per week minimum

These are the main focus that we always should follow, but unfortunately, temptations always come into play and we lose track. Last year, I was always trying to lose the weight, but with no success. This year, if I lose weight in the process, good! If not, I am sure I will at least feel better in my skin.

Self-Improvement

  • Write more (On my blog and/or a journal)
  • Have more focus on practicing my guitar
  • Start drawing

Ever since I started blogging, I feel better in my head. Putting all my ideas on paper or on here is freeing my brain of the clutter. I know I have been MIA for a little while and I was all over the place trying to figure out what to write about. To be honest with you, I still don’t know. I decided to stop trying and just write whatever I feel like it. I am sure my experiences and discoveries will help at least one person somewhere. This year, I will be me and I will not try to be something that isn’t me.

I have been slacking on my guitar practicing as well and learning an instrument is challenging, but is also therapeutic. I love music, but it seems like I never have the time to practice… The truth is, we find excuses… It is so easy to be lazy and sit in front of the TV. It’s much easier. haha! So I want to dedicate at least 30 minutes 2-3 days in the week for practice.

When I was a kid, I used to be awesome at drawing, but came adulthood and ever since I entered the workforce, I have been putting aside my artsy side. This year, I would like to start drawing on a regular basis. I bought myself before the holidays I really nice sketch book and I don’t want it to go to waste. I don’t know if I will be able to keep it up, but I would like to come up with monthly drawings. I thought, that one drawing per month isn’t that hard to accomplish and again, drawing is really therapeutic as well.

2019 is the year that I will take better care of myself and I believe that the listed goals above are going to be beneficial for achieving it.

Let’s hope I can keep it up! But when roadblock arise, there’s always tomorrow to start again. We’re all human after all.

Assess, modify, refocus, achieve!

What are your goals for this year?

Murders, kidnappings, bombings… Learning about the atrocities that happen around us every day makes me wonder where this world’s going… 

Last Friday, a 14-year-old got killed in a park a few blocks away from our house. We often go by that area on our runs. This is scary…

Living in the uncertainty for our safety is not what I had imagined for the future.

It seems like the more the years go by the more crimes there are. Instead of being a better population, we are degrading to being savages. Instead of going towards peace, we’re going toward war?

What’s happening to us? For many years and even today, I am unsure if I want kids. This isn’t convincing for me to bring a new life into this world. 

The thing is… as I am approaching the 40’s, I need to make a decision quick and I don’t know what to do because I think of all the things that are happening around us. 

I may be overthinking everything, but when the future looks bad, how can I think of bringing a new life into it? Will I be able to keep them safe?

Here I am questioning myself and as the time goes by I may lose the opportunity of having a family of my own because of uncertainty… Am I the only one feeling this way?

This is just one example of uncertainty compromising decisions, but not the only one. If you have other examples and would like to share, I would love to hear your stories.

Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash

Finding Happiness

Many years of my life we wasted from trying to make everyone around me happy. The fact is, it is not possible to make everybody happy. There will always be someone that won’t be. Year after year, it’s the same. As the years go by, it becomes a burden and you become unhappy because you put everyone else first and you always think of what others will think of you.

The truth is, you have to put yourself first. You have to stop caring at what people may think of you. Only you can make YOU happy. 

Many times I didn’t do something because I was scared of what others may think or I overthink every single detail. You lose opportunities, you miss your chance on new adventures that could have possibly changed your life or brought it to a completely different direction.

It is YOUR life. You need to enjoy it while it last as we don’t know what will come our way or how long it will last. 

Do what makes you happy. If getting a new pet is what makes you happy, do it! If you enjoy giving, do it without expecting anything in return. Go on that trip! Create a new adventure! Make plans with your significant other.

The key is to do it for you, not for others. Don’t ever expect anything in return. Let go of the unnecessary and be happy!

To this day, I am still learning to put it in practice, but every day I try to keep myself on the right path of becoming the happiest me.

Cheers!

Hello everyone,

Have you ever had an issue with your PMS colors showing up as CMYK when doing a PDF?

As graphic designers, there is always something new to learn. Maybe this is something you know already, but in my case, I haven’t worked often with PMS colors in the past and today, as I encountered an issue with printing PMS colors, I have learned something and wanted to share the solution with you all with the hope of maybe help at least 1 person. 

At first, I was worried that it will be so much work as the document had a lot of pages with PMS colors, but it ended up being the easiest fix ever, which I was extremely happy about. 🙂

Of course, it can be a bigger issue than this, but this is probably the first thing you should look for if you are having that issue and ruled out that your file was not CMYK at the first place.

All you have to do, is go into the Ink manager and remove a check box stating All spots to process. Voilà! this is the magic solution! So simple! 🙂

When you create your PDF, make sure to go in the Output section 
and click the Ink Manager button.

I hope I was able to help someone with this little trick I found today. 🙂

‘Til next time. Enjoy!

So I did Something…

Hello everyone!

It’s been a while since I wrote about my fitness journey. A lot has been going on in my head ever since I achieved my 10 km run goal. As I mentioned in my previous post #FitnessJourney: I did it!, I needed to find another goal in order to keep myself motivated.

Well… at first, I thought, maybe I could try boxing… A few weeks went by and the thought of it didn’t motivate me anymore. It wasn’t me. So I thought, maybe I should switch gym since the one I was going was not very convenient location-wise. Again a few weeks went by… and I did nothing about it…

Laziness settled in and I ended up not going to the gym for about a month and a half. I started to give up.

When I started to see the numbers on the scale going up, I knew I had to find something quick before it was uncontrollable.

My husband mentioned to me that he was curious about the Orange Theory fitness gym and that made me think a lot. It is located very close to us and it is a guided workout with a coach who will make sure you are doing things right and will motivate you.

So here it is! I decided to try it out. The first class was free, so what did I have to lose?

Let me tell you, this was one of the best workouts I ever did. I was sore for 3 days. That night, I registered right away. This is what I needed!

So yesterday I went to a second class and today I am sore again, but it’s a good sore, not unbearable pain. I am looking forward to the next one.

If I don’t see results with this, I don’t know what will.

I will take before pictures and maybe in a few months, I can show how it’s been?

Give it a “like” or leave a comment if it’s something that is of interest to you.

Cheers!

 


Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash