Life with a child can be hectic. Your kids wanting your attention all day long, leaving very little time to do things around the house or even doing self-care.

Before kids, you were able to manage the housework, have a clean house, make a plan to do things in the house and even time to go out for an afternoon.

When you have kids, trying to achieve what you used to be able to do is nearly impossible. You have to change your mindset and let go of certain things and change your standard quite a bit.

When the time comes to put your kid to bed, all you want to do is lying on the couch doing nothing or even go to bed early. There are so many things that need to get done, but we never get to do it.

For example, we want to repaint our house. There is so much you can do when your child is napping. Painting is not something you can stop fast if your kid wakes up, so this isn’t a job to do on nap time. You have to find little things to do or take the opportunity to sit and relax a little.

My husband is on vacation next week. We are hoping to finally paint the house. I kind of doubt we will be able to do what we want to do. There is no way we can focus both of us on the job at hand. I guess we will see.

The only way to get things done is to have one parent watch the kid while the other does the work.

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Being bored with a kid is impossible. Every day is a new adventure. Yesterday he didn’t sleep through the night, last night he did. Go figure. Looks like it’s impossible to know when he will sleep. Maybe he’s just slowly transitioning.

Today he’s been a bit grumpy. I think his teeth are bothering him. It looks like all the four top teeth are coming out at the same time. Poor baby. Tylenol is our best friend lately.

He recently started sitting on his own and wanting to walk, although he can’t walk on his own. A lot is going on in his head right now. Lots of discoveries. Maybe that’s part of why he doesn’t want to sleep.

Photo by Johannes W on Unsplash

That is so true! The way I see this is that if you don’t do things you love, you will never be complete. If you do things to make others happy, you will always be incomplete.

Of course, you do need to make some compromise, but you also need to live your life and come mid-way. You still need to do things for yourself. Be you.

Simply Etta

Photo Credit

When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. 
Tom Robbins

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Well, that was disappointing. The sleep through the night was just one-off. He woke up a 2 am as usual and didn’t just want his pacifier, he wanted his bottle.

The good thing is that on weekends, my husband wakes up to do the night shift and lucky for him, after his bottle, he went back to sleep easy.

Why doesn’t he do that for me too? Why can’t he go back to sleep right away? That is not fair. 😆

Maybe he will sleep tonight. That is the hope we have every single night, nothing wrong to be optimistic.

Today, I felt a little blue because I went to the store trying to find a tunnel for him to play with. I feel he would love to crawl in it and I didn’t find one.

I’m not sure why I felt that way. Maybe it’s because we are limited on what we can do during this pandemic, and I wanted to have something new for him to have fun with.

Anyway, I know it’s lame because I am sure he’s doing just fine. I guess this is a mom thing. 🙂

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Sometimes, when you ask for help, you end up not needing it. Maybe I am talking too fast, but I believe it’s worth mentioning. After asking around about baby sleep and getting advice from people, our son slept through the night without any intervention last night! Usually, we would at least go to give him his pacifier, but last night, nothing at all. That was a first! Ta-Da!

When I woke up this morning, realizing that I haven’t gone once to give his pacifier or to feed him, I asked my husband if he did. He was wondering the same thing. We were both surprised. Even though my son doesn’t understand yet what we’re saying, I told him I was proud of him. That mommy is happy that he slept all night.

So today, I have kept him longer awake. Hopefully, he’s going to do the same thing tonight. That’s what we’re hoping. Is it what’s going to happen? We will know soon enough.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Today was quite challenging mentally for me. Of course, being tired doesn’t help. My son decided that he doesn’t want to sleep from 2 am to 4:15 am. And over that, he’s fighting his naps during the day. He has been doing this for the past week or so.

Sometimes I wish he could tell me what’s going on. Perhaps it’s teething, maybe it’s a stomach ache, or possibly just because he doesn’t want to be alone. I wish he could tell me.

When things like that happen to him, it makes me wonder if I am doing a good job as a mom. Am I doing enough, am I doing the right thing, am I spoiling him too much, should I go and rock him once more or just leave him cry a bit.

When he cries, it breaks my heart.

The funny part is that they say things will get easier, but it feels like it’s getting harder. I had fewer issues when he was two months old than now. Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever done, but when he reaches milestones, it’s so rewarding.

I’ve done some research today and maybe he’s been sleeping a bit too much during the day. I will try to cut his nap a little and maybe that will help him sleep at night.

If you have kids, have you ever gone through this at around 10 months old?

Wish me luck!

Daily Dose of Affirmation

Each day you can journey from your Alpha (it begins with you) to your Omega, which in the teachings of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, is the point within each of us where our inner spiritual nature meets our outer worldly nature.  It is with this thought I bring to you daily dose of affirmations for […]

Daily Dose of Affirmation

Dear leaf blower guy…

Did you know that after the rain, blowing the leaves will take double the time? Did you know that some people are trying to have their kids down for a nap? Did you know some people need their full concentration to work?

We live in a townhouse complex, and the maintenance guys always come once a week to cut the grass, take away the leaves that fell, but for some reason, they take the longest time to do it, and they are usually four people. Can you imagine all of them using their leaf blower at the same time? They are not consistent in their timing either!

My husband is trying to work upstairs, and me trying to put the baby to sleep for his afternoon nap. I saw them pass in the same spot four times and carrying their pile of leaves around. It rained this morning, and that must not be an easy task to blow the leaves. Why can’t they wait until it dries off a bit? To me, it doesn’t make sense and seems to be time-wasting.

Sometimes I think that it is more time consuming with a leaf blower than use a rake… Yes it can be useful to clear the leaves in difficult to access spots, but is it necessary to make all the noises and for half of the afternoon?

This is it for now with my ranting. Do you guys have disturbances that affect your daily life?

Photo by Matthew Hamilton on Unsplash

Whether it’s the baby’s difficulty falling asleep or, as a parent, the lack of sleep, this seems to be an issue that as parents have in common. If you’ve read my past blog posts, you already know that we’re having issues with our son’s sleeping pattern.

Most days, he naps good and bedtime goes smoothly, but he wakes up during the night and doesn’t want to go back to sleep. He often keeps us awake for 2 hours.

We try everything… We feed him, rock him. He would toss and turn and wants to sit on our lap. Then we take more strict measures. We let him cry, which I hate very much. We let him cry 5 mins, then check on him, then let him cry 10 mins and so on. When it’s been over 30 mins, I give in. Not sure if it’s right, but I guess I have some mom guilt going on. Sometimes we’re just lucky and he would fall asleep.

The next day though, we’re so tired that it’s hard to motivate ourselves to do some self-care and go exercise.

Any parents out there who go through similar issues? Have you found a solution? I would love to hear about it.

Until next time, if the baby doesn’t sleep tonight, strong coffee will be your best friend in the morning! 🙂

Photo by David Mao on Unsplash

DO YOU GET TRAPPED IN THE AFTERLIFE WHEN YOU CAN’T LET GO OF SOMEONE YOU LOVE?

I do not know if there is an afterlife, but I can only imagine how it would be. The Netflix series “The haunting of Bly manor” made me think a lot. What would happen if you died with unfinished business, without your consent, or if you love someone so much that you can’t let go? Do you get trapped in the afterlife?

In my perspective, the ghost of Bly manor who had lung disease for years was killed by her sister. Maybe her sister killed her to end her suffering, but by the look of things, she didn’t really want to go. I feel like she wanted to see her daughter grow. She didn’t want to leave her.

When she died, she stayed present in the manor. Each night looking for her daughter killing people standing in her path, but as years passed, she started to forget memories of her living life and that’s why the ghost loses features in her face.

I don’t know if it’s because I am a mom now, but I actually find the story really sad.

Loving someone so much to stay trapped in the afterlife, without being able to see your kids. Every single day, looking for them and being angry for not finding them. This would be torture!

I actually understand why we would stay around if we died when your kids are at a young age. Even if they were older… You want to make sure they stay safe, that they are alright. We have so much love for our kids, just thinking of being away from them breaks your heart.

If there was an afterlife, one thing I would wish is that we don’t get trapped with anger, pain and sadness.

I am just brushing the surface here as I don’t want to tell you every single detail. You should watch it!
Below is the official trailer.

If you watched it, let me know your thoughts!

Post image: Photo by Manuel Meurisse on Unsplash

Deception

This past week my son decided he would sleep through the night without feeding. All I had to do is to give him his pacifier once and we had the chance to sleep peacefully until 6 am.

Well, that didn’t last long. He did that only 2 days in a row. The night after that… OMG! The tantrum! A raging moment that lasted more than 2 hours. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. I fed him, I rocked him, I let him cry a little… Nothing was working. He cried to exhaustion.

Just when you think you got it under control…
POOF! It’s over!

This was it of my full night sleep… every other night was the same as before… feeding him around 2 to 3 am. He’s lucky that I am a very patient person. Maybe too patient… maybe I shouldn’t have gone to rock him so many times… but when your kid is crying and he can’t tell you what’s going on, it’s hard not to react.

As parents, we have to constantly remind ourselves that the struggles we go through now are only temporary. This is part of your child’s development and soon will be a thing of the past.

Maybe the big cry was a milestone that is about to happen. Maybe I will soon be able to sleep a full night (dreaming). Who knows, but let me tell you, babies are lucky they can nap during the day. I will make sure to remind him that when he’s a teenager.

Being a parent is hard and full of surprises. Each day is a new adventure. We have to put on our seat belt and be ready for the ride!

You are 8 months old…

Who knew that a month would change you so much. Within a month you perfected your crawling and mommy and daddy have to run after you constantly to keep you out of things you shouldn’t touch. For some reason, you love the floor air vents…

You started to get attached to things you are holding and pull some tantrum when we try to take it away.

You also love jumping and every time mommy and daddy have their hands under your arms, you start jumping.

You love keeping us awake for 2 hours during the night, just because… I thought by now you would sleep the whole night… I guess you are having sleep regression and hopefully you will go back to normal soon. Daddy needs to work in the morning. 🙂

You can now stand on your own with support and walk clumsily with your walker. Soon enough you will be running!

Today, I sat you in your crib and you pulled yourself to standing all by yourself. It is good you can’t sit on your own yet. Mommy and Daddy will have to lower your crib very soon so you can’t fall on the ground.

Mommy looks forward to see you grow. What do you have in store next?

To the next adventure!

Being your own imposter

I have recently started to listen “The mom room” podcast and let me tell you, Renee, the host, is spot on and so real about the subject of being a mom and how we can bring ourselves down easily.

As a new mom, I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself. I have been very unsure of myself and questioning about my way of parenting and if I was doing the right things.

I can’t believe my son is almost 9 month old and I still feel so insecure. I am sure I will be for the rest of my life because there is so many stage in the life of a child. It will never stop changing.

In the posdcast, she defines momposters as a mom who’s suffer self-doubt, compare to others, fear of judgment and feeling inadequate.

I feel a bit guilty of doing this. I know someone that I follow on Instagram that has a kid about the same age as my son. Every time I see a milestone that my son didn’t achieve yet, I wonder if I am doing things right. Maybe there is something I am not doing.

The pandemic doesn’t help with that as we are confined and not able to see other people and talk to other moms and I have to tell myself that I am doing my best.

I’ve been following groups on facebook and asking questions, but it is not the same and often you compare yourself and the advices you get makes you feel bad…

I have to remember that each child is different and he will do things on his own pace.

Sometimes, there is questions that you hesitate to ask because you don’t want to be judged and that increases self-doubt.

The episode of the podcast made me realize that social media can lead to comparing to others and to be honest, depending on who you follow, it could be false representation, but still we compare ourselves to those.

What I took from the episode is to stop comparing yourself, be yourself, take advises you need and leave those that doesn’t apply or don’t work for you to the side and just do your best.

A child doesn’t come with an instruction manual and each one of them are different and only you can raise your kid with your own values and beliefs.

Let see if I can apply these from now on… 🙂

Until next time, have a wonderful day!

Having a baby is difficult enough, but never in the world I would have thought of raising a child during a pandemic…

It is just making it even more difficult… If we could pause the newborn stage until this mess is over it would be fine, but now that my little guy is 7 months old, introducing the world to him is very difficult… His growing needs to explore is making things challenging… The weather is extremely warm out, so we can’t go for walks…

How can we satisfy his need to explore? There is so much toys you can buy, so many time you can read a book in a day and the space in our house is very limited… pilling tons of toys is not an option. PLUS, too many toy is like not having enough…

I want to show him so much, I want to teach him so much, but how can I do that when we’re confined between the same 4 walls day in and day out…

I planned to take swim lessons with him, but it’s not going to happen until who knows when… The earlyON centres are closed… how can I offer human contact, other than us, to my child? Video calls isn’t really showing the world to him…

It makes me sad to think that things may not become normal for a long time… This is definitely not how I pictured his first year of life to be and how I would spend time with him… I had better stories cut out in my head… it’s very disappointing.

Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash

Life in confinement…

So many things has happened and is happening this year and we have to enjoy it in confinement… Can I say enjoy… not really. This social distancing is taking a toll on us. It certainly not what I was expecting for my maternity and parental leave…

Last month was my husband 40th birthday and we couldn’t do anything special…

Today is my birthday… we won’t be able to do much as well…

By the look of things, our 10th year wedding anniversary in July will be in confinement as well, which sucks!

I wanted to take swimming lessons with my son this summer… it probably won’t happen…

I really hope things will be better by December… otherwise my son’s first Christmas and birthday will also be in confinement… it is hard to think of these milestones being canceled because of a stupid virus…

I don’t know about you, but I am starting to find it really hard not being able to see our families. Even harder when most of mine didn’t see my son and who knows when we will able to travel to see them.

Two weeks became a month… A month to 2 months, now it seems like it will go for a year or two… I understand we want to save lives and stay safe, but is it how we should approach this… Plus, it seems they reacted way too late! They knew it was coming and now we live in a world like everyone has bugs… no one is talking to each other, people crossing the street to stay away… It was all good at the beginning, but now when will it end? They don’t even know if they will be able to produce a vaccine… this is very disappointing.

Why is it that Ontario is the last one to want to start opening up? Am I the only one feeling this way?