Cancer Journey: Mind Battles

The Cancer Journey… a rollercoaster of mixed emotions, never-ending stresses, anxieties and uncertainties, but also an eye-opener for some.

Battling cancer is a big word. What people don’t talk about is when you are on the other side of the cancer battle, you are left with a forever altered life and conflicting thoughts. Thoughts are fighting against each other. One minute you are positive, the other you fall into the worries, fear and negativity.

Something they don’t tell you is that the big part of the fight is after everything is “done”.

What if it’s not over. It could very well not be over. What if something shows up on my next scan? Can I do this again? Can I survive this again? How do you live with the constant fear and worry? Well, you put one foot in front of the other and you walk. You take it a day at a time. You are still scared, but you have no choice but to move forward. You get all those conflicting thoughts. Your mental health takes a huge hit. You try to find ways to cope with it which isn’t easy.

Today is the one-year mark since I started treatments. April 26, 2021, was my first chemotherapy treatment. During the past year, the most important thing was to spend every moment I could with my son and husband and make memories.

Being there for my son’s 2nd birthday meant the world to me.

Recovering from each treatment and finding the energy to do everything I did last summer was a challenge, but when you don’t know what the near future holds and you fear you won’t be there for them, you do what you can to make things work. You push through it with a smile.

Something I’ve learned this year and it is still a work in progress is to enjoy the time you have now with the people you love, focus on what truly matters and enjoy it to the fullest by living in the moment and taking it one day at a time.

Your life is worth fighting for! Everyone needs to remember that and although it might feel lonely and unbearable at times, you’re never alone and you need to push through, mostly for yourself but also for your family that needs you.

I survived the treatments and the surgery but now is the real work. Accepting the person I’ve become, getting back into physical shape because I have never been in this bad of shape in my life, continuing to learn to live a day at a time, working on my stress and anxiety, enjoying life as it comes, creating good memories and of course… keeping smiling and move forward with the faith that things will be just fine.

Life is fragile and not to be taken for granted. Be nice to yourself.

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