Cancer Journey: A year as passed…

On this day last year, my life turned upside-down… This was the day I learned I had cancer. It was the worst day of my life. A lot changed since, a lot of bad days and a few good ones. My vision of life changed. Of course becoming a mom also changed the way I see life. Cancer made it even clearer, but it also took my vision for the future away.

I find myself lucky in a way because it could have been worse, but this past year was hard. Cancer has created a huge setbacks.

It is hard to let go of things you want, but know you won’t be able to do/get them.

You feel alone even if you have people caring for you. You feel overwhelmed by little things. You live in fear because each time you have a test done, you worry that they will have bad news. Every time there is a little pain, you fear the cancer may be back. You look in the mirror, and you see someone different, and you have to try to accept that new person because the old you won’t come back at least not completely.

I have to look at the big picture. The chemotherapy worked and made surgery possible. Yes, the continued recovery from the trauma is ongoing, but I had good times with my family and had the chance to spend quality time with my son and husband.

I have to live each day like there’s no tomorrow and do it one day at a time. That’s what life with cancer look like.

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