Have you ever lost your purpose? Feeling worthless? Felt like the smallest challenge was impossible to undertake? You’re not alone!
Back in 2015, I started a job that I liked. I’ve put in crazy hours, I didn’t mind because I was feeling like I belonged, that I was valued and that I made a difference and was seeing opportunities for the future. After 6 months working there, the management changed and everything I worked hard for turned upside down, duties were taken away, things changed drastically, it quickly became something that I was dreading. I came from leading a project to being pushed to the sideline and just do the work as I was told without any explanations. They were changing processes. I kept saying to myself that things will get better, but things just got worst. I no more felt valued.
It was a difficult time for me, I was very depressed, became negative, it was hard to smile and became an angry person deep down inside. I went on for months like this. I was feeling useless, worthless… I was exhausted due to those crazy hours I was still putting in as I felt it was expected from me and I still cared. All this anger was building up within and it started to show in my health. That’s when I decided it was enough. I needed to do something and quick.
I decided to take some guitar lessons. It was my escape from work, my reason to leave at a regular time at night. I soon realized that I had let myself go so deep in my work, I forgot about #1, myself. I stopped doing things I loved. I always loved music. I remembered when I was a teenager, I wanted to be a singer. It brought me back to the roots. Without realizing it, I was trying to find who I was and I questioned myself in many ways. Why did I leave that all behind, why did I let myself go that far, why is this happening to me, Am I the problem? […]
Learning guitar is making me focus on something else. It challenged me and still does today. I have and had a teachers that inspires me, which is helping tremendously. Learning guitar became a goal. Brought some light into my life. Music turned out to be like meditation for me.
I chose the guitar because it’s a social instrument. You can bring it almost anywhere, you can sing while playing it. It’s a self-sufficient instrument. You don’t need another instrument to make something sound amazing. Learning guitar is a smaller goal that could lead to a bigger dream.
Besides changing my mind off things, it helped me with my soul-searching. Made me realized that life is short, that if you are not happy where you are, you need to do something about it.
One day, the stars lined up and got a job offer. Was that a sign? Maybe or maybe not, but even if it wasn’t, I still went for it. What did I get to lose?
I still have some work to do in my soul searching and finding my purpose, but I am happier now that I pulled myself out from the toxic environment I was in. I get more inspired, I am more positive. I don’t have this pressure and anger every day…
My message in all this is… If you’re unhappy find something you like, a hobby, learning something new, anything that will change your focus and that you will look forward to. You may not be able to change the situation you are in, but you can change the focus on your life. Just a little something to look forward can change a whole lot in your everyday life. Believe me, I know. When the time is right, everything will eventually fall into place. Sometimes in unexpected ways, but most importantly NEVER forget who you are!
NEVER STOP believing in YOURSELF!
Photo by alexander bracken on Unsplash